So... you're born. (yay! everyone has cake but you because your little mouth and stomach can't handle those solid foods!)
Now, as is inevitable, you start to grow both physically and in cognitive capacity. You learn the language your parents know, the values they have, the religion they hold, their political views, their opinion on what foods to eat, what your body image should be, and how to conduct yourself in public.
You go to school (or are home-schooled and then find friends somewhere else...). Now you have play-dates, and learn other parents styles/values/diets/religion/language/politics/social graces.
You start dating. You learn intimacy and communication and elation and urges and compromises and boundaries and fear and rejection and run on sentences... Also how to deal with these.
Then, if all goes well and you go to college, you learn that pretty much all of this is very narrow sighted and small.
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Now, I don't think that I've gained any brand spanking new insight, nor is this information that hasn't been said a billion ties before, but I do find myself in a very unique situation that has afforded me polarizing views in both senses.
I go to a primarily male school and this leads to objectification of the few women who are here. I am in a sorority, and we often find that we are looked down upon because of our chromosomes.. The term used at my school is R.I.B.S. (ratio induced bitch syndrome) where men think that women feel entitled to things because if there is less to compare us to, so that must mean we think we are more attractive. But the same goes for the other way "there are so few women, so I'm definitely the best he's going to find... were so much better than the ladies at the all girls school down the street anyway." It goes both ways, and both ways of thinking are equally incorrect, BUT ALSO EXTREMELY PREVALENT AND EASY TO FALL INTO.
I think this is really strange, because college brought with it a massive influx of ideas and cultures. People from all over, not just your high school hometown, are coming, sharing their stories, ideas, values, language, diets, politics etc. and we as college students are free and encouraged to try them all! This is the best time to find yourself, so why do we have any prejudice against anything?
Yes, you should have core values, but this is a good time to make them. This is when you find out what is really important to you and are basically molded by your professors and friends. My boss, my sisters, my current and previous roommates, a now ex-boyfriend (but still best friend) and two of my extremely feminist teachers (both males) showed me that the world is not as hateful as it seems, and that everyone has something to offer and probably more important than that, before you start offering anything, you need perspective. My time as a TA taught me that everyone's brain learns differently and everyone is adept at something and possibly lacking in other areas. My time as a secretary taught me that everyone's problems seem big to them, even if you know they aren't in the grand scheme of things.. and of course it is important to listen. My time as a roommate taught me to speak up for myself and know that respect doesn't come from a strong desire to not offend another person and therefore staying silent. My time in relationships taught me that sexual activity is OK to explore, (guys, I didn't explode after trying some things) as long as you're smart about it (which I also had to learn for myself). My job at a hospital showed me that when you look at us, male, female, young, old, thin, fat, single, married, gay, straight, rich, poor... we all look the same when we have to have our abdomens sliced open to remove an abscess. So really, prejudice is dumb.
COLLEGE SHOULD BE TEACHING US THIS because even if you get all the knowledge, people skills are equally important both for maintaining relationships and functioning in society.
You should come away with this:
1) a feeling that someone has taught you something.
I hope this means academically, I really do. But I also hope it means culturally. I hope you went to Jewish club meetings and sat in on a sater. I hope you went to professors house parties and saw them as people. I hope you learned to play the banjo. I hope you tried a new sport and possibly sucked at it with your friends (or did really well and got a trophy!).
2) a feeling that you taught someone else something.
Again, totally I hope you helped a freshman understand that ridiculous problem by linearly graphing the duel function in differential equations (yes. I made that up. but it kinda works...) but I also mean I want you to invite friends to clubs that you enjoy. I hope you got a friend to come swing dancing. I hope you taught someone to eat a pomegranate. I hope you showed someone how to break into a building and get on to the rooftop of the bell tower where on a clear night, you can see the milky way (that one might be too specific... but I did it. come visit. Ill show you. There will be Pomegranates.)
3) a feeling that you did things that scared you.
I hope you failed a test. I hope you set up a meeting with a dean. I hope you got yourself a research project. I hope you wrote blog posts. I hope you sang for people, or kissed someone while you were drunk. Because, you'll be OK after all of it, and learn things about yourself.
4) the desire to make others feel good about themselves.
Thank people when they do good things for you. Go out of your way to make others comfortable. Ask about others lives/ideas/diets/religion/parents. Have some human decency please.
5) a self awareness.
Know who you are, and your strengths, and your passions and your short comings. Especially know your position (how the privileges you were afforded as a child led to your current social standing, which could be as simple as what part of the country you live in or if your family owned stock in Microsoft...)
6) a skill you are excited about.
At the core of it, college (university, or in my case, institute) is for learning things. School things. To get a job. Hopefully its a skill that when asked about it, you could enthusiastically talk for hours or write a 10 page post about what it is that you know and are going to do with it. If you're paying that much for college, you should want to get out of bed and go to your job and then come home fulfilled. That's the luxury you are paying for, so you should never loose sight of it.
You guys are really cool! Use this time to see through other's eyes and literally everything should be good to go. I guarantee it. (But not actually.)
